I know that we’re both afraid
We both made the same mistakes
An open heart is an open wound to you
And in the wind of a heavy choice
Love has a quiet voice
Still your mind, now I’m yours to choose…
Christina Perry – “The words”
Rain drops fall on Wonbeom’s face in the chilly night. In the darkness of the night his sword sheens with every movement. Without an opponent to draw his attention, he gets lost in his own thoughts.
He doesn’t want to start another fight with his Queen, so he has once again decided to give her however much space she needs. Tomorrow’s mission is too important for them to risk with distress from another argument.
He lunges forward and outstretches his arm wielding his sword. He changes position and swings his sword, making a big arc as he turns around and points towards… the Queen. She stands in front of him in her pink nightdress, her head covered by her jangot1Jangot – the clothes piece to cover the head. On the show, SY used one when she and the King had a day out in Hanyang. And on the episode where she came to confront him about plotting an assassination attempt on her dad, she used that as a robe instead of covering her head..
“We’ve been here before, Your Majesty,” she makes a joke out of the situation, sliding her jangot from her head onto her shoulders.
“My Queen, I didn’t hear you come,” Wonbeom says, putting his sword away. “What are you doing here?”
“I have something to say, Your Majesty,” she says, stepping forward. “It does not feel right to me for us to go on a mission in such distress. But if you are not ready to speak with me, please, say so. I will leave you to continue your training.”
“I was thinking the same, my Queen. I do not want us to argue, so I decided not to disturb your rest,” he admits. He had sneaked into the villa to catch a glimpse of his son’s sleep and kiss his forehead before he returned to his hanok2Hanok – a house. by the gates.
“So we tried to achieve the same goal in different ways,” Soyong says softly with a hint of a smile. “I upset you a lot yesterday, but please understand me as well. Don’t think I don’t see your feelings. I always see them, or I wouldn’t try so hard to find a way into your heart. I know you love me…” She takes a deep breath before continuing: “I just think there’s a part of me you also loved but lost.”
“So you know I liked you before our marriage?” Wonbeom slowly blinks, taking in the revelation. Why did he even try to hide it when everyone had apparently been aware of his feelings? “Then why… Why don’t you believe me now?”
“Because those feelings weren’t enough. I wasn’t enough…” Soyong’s eyes avoid him. It’s his first time hearing this; he never knew how much she was aware of his feelings, but at the same time she has gotten everything wrong. She is so intuitive, yet so doubtful.
“That’s not true… My Queen, you should have told me sooner!” He closes the distance between them, clasping both her hands in his, and she raises her eyes to look at his smiling face. “Don’t you see? You worried for nothing! When the wedding happened I was already falling hard for you. Why should I stop liking you because of possession? It was too late for me; all I could do was accept it.”
“The whole situation is a bit more complicated, Your Majesty,” she tries to argue.
“Of course, I’m not denying it. But Soyong,” he uses her given name to add more weight to what he’s about to say, “no matter how complicated things were, I saw you. It does not matter if another soul lives in you, or even many souls at once… As long as I still have you, it doesn’t matter.” He places his hand on her cheek, caressing it with his thumb. “You thought I’m missing a part of the past you, but the truth is, you are everything I need.”
“Your Majesty…” She tears up a bit, voice thick with emotion. “Please no more souls. What a terrible thing to say!” She laughs suddenly and he can’t help it either. “Many souls at once? I don’t think I can handle that amount of conflicted feelings again!”
The rain starts to pour and Wonbeom pulls Soyong’s jangot back over her head.
“You must go back to the villa before you catch a cold, my Queen,” he murmurs, giving her a soft smile.
“What, you’re not going to kiss me after a confession like that?” she asks, pouting. “Why do you make me look so needy, asking for such obvious things…”
Wonbeom smirks at her musings and leans forward, kissing her lightly. He pulls away to look at her, but she doesn’t look happy — more like disappointed.
“That is not a real kiss, Your Majesty.” Soyong drops her head cover, reaches up, and kisses him hungrily. Her mouth demandingly moves against his, and with a low groan, Wonbeom pulls her closer to him.
She snuggles into his body and their soaked clothes feel like a second skin. Wonbeom leans down and lifts her below her bottom, into his arms, making her clutch onto his shoulders for balance. He starts kissing her neck up to her jaw, and when she tilts her face down to him, their lips eagerly move against each other again.
He carries her to his hanok and puts her down on the threshold. Wonbeom helps her with her shoes and she walks inside; however, he needs more time to get rid of his own stupid boots. When he’s finally free he walks inside, closing the door behind him.
Soyong is waiting for him in the middle of the room, water droplets falling onto the floor from her soaked nightdress. Wonbeom approaches her, hugging her from behind and kissing her exposed neck. She leans back against him with a light moan, resting her head on his shoulder and giving his lips more skin to explore. He showers her pulse point with light kisses before moving up and sucking her earlobe.
“Are you sure, my Queen?” he whispers into her ear in a hoarse tone, making her shiver.
Instead of answering, she turns around in his arms to face him. She places one hand on his cheek and meets his gaze, her beautiful brown eyes full of love and softness. He turns his face to kiss her palm and she smiles brightly at him. Her other hand takes the strap of his black hanbok3Hanbok – a general word for clothes. and pulls, untying it.
Her sincere, happy smile quickly transforms into a naughty one. Wonbeom smirks and lets both of his hands rest to the side, giving her full control to do whatever she desires.
Soyong takes her time, slowly tugging the pieces of clothing apart to bare his chest. She then works on his sleeves: she takes one of his hands in hers, and her skilled fingers easily untie the pieces of fabric. She then repeats with his other hand with a curious expression, as if she is unwrapping a gift. Finally, Soyong looks up into his eyes and places her hands on his chest. In a smooth movement, her palms go up and slip his hanbok off his shoulders.
She leans into him, reaching up to find his lips for another kiss. Wonbeom hugs her tighter to him, frustrated she’s still wearing so many layers. Her clothes are wet and cold against him, but his skin burns like a fire under her touch. His fingers find their way to her back, to the ties of her night chima4Chima – a skirt., and he eagerly tries to loosen them, but they are frustratingly tight.
“Is Your Majesty having problems?” she whispers teasingly against his lips.
“Not if I tear it apart,” he growls back.
To his disappointment, Soyong pulls away from him, and with a sly smile, she pushes him back until his feet meet the bedding he is silently grateful he prepared before going out to train. She guides him into falling back onto the soft mattress, but she stays on her feet, out of his reach.
Wonbeom watches in awe as she unties her chima and jeogori5Jeogori – is an upper garment. Also could be named dangui. without any struggle at all, letting each piece fall onto the floor. The remaining undergarments are so nearly transparent, teasing her bare skin, that he is nearly overwhelmed with desire.
Wonbeom reaches out his hand for Soyong and her palm slips into his. He leads her towards him, to sit on his lap. He doesn’t waste a moment, kissing her hungrily, his hands traveling back and forth along her back. He undresses her from her breast cover, tossing it aside, and she starts moving her hips against his, drawing low moans from him. Wonbeom leaves her mouth only to catch one of her nipples, sucking and flicking his tongue on it. She leans back in his arms, giving him more opportunity to caress her breasts, one by mouth and the other by hand. His fingers tug her nipple a bit and she lets out a surprised cry.
“I am sorry,” he says at once, caressing away any pain with his mouth and tongue.
“Don’t be,” she whispers, breathing heavily, her eyes dark with desire.
“So you like it?” he asks, looking up at her with a coy smile. Instead of answering, she rotates her hips on him more, making him groan loudly.
He can’t take this prelude anymore. Wonbeom reaches for the binyeo6Binyeo is a thick pin used to get married women’s hair in a hairdo. in her hair and drops it aside, making her braid fall loose. Before she can do anything, Wonbeom holds her against him and turns them to lie on the bedding with him on top.
“Your Majesty…” she hisses at him, seemingly unsatisfied with the power change.
“You will have your way later, my Queen, but let me try something first,” he says in a hoarse voice, hovering over her on his outstretched arms.
An enticing blush appears on her cheeks and neck as she stares up at him with a confused expression, and Wonbeom smiles at his adorable wife who can somehow be so cute after wantonly grinding her hips against his just moments before.
Wonbeom leans forward for another sweet kiss and then travels down her neckline to her collarbone. She breathes heavily underneath him, driving him mad with every whimper that escapes her mouth as his lips and tongue explore her bare skin. Wonbeom’s hand travels down her stomach to her undergarments, making her shiver with excitement. She arches her back into his touch, and he groans against her skin when his fingers find her very much ready and wet for him.
He gives her attention there for a few moments, relishing in the sounds of her moans, before drawing his hand away. Soyong whimpers when she feels the loss of his fingers, but he needs to get rid of her remaining clothing before continuing.
“What are you doing?” He looks up at her, hearing uncertainty in her voice when he doesn’t move back up to her but instead finds a comfortable position between her thighs.
“Trying something new from those ridiculous novels of yours,” he answers. He wants to laugh when he sees how her expression changes once the realization sinks in.
“I was… just joking…” she says, trying to squirm away, but his strong arms block her thighs from moving.
“Tsk, tsk,” Wonbeom clicks his tongue, teasing her. “It’s too late, my Queen. I must satisfy my curiosity now.”
“Your Majesty…” She doesn’t finish her sentence, letting out a soft moan as he dives in between her thighs.
He takes a long, slow lick just to try it out, to see how she responds. Truthfully, Wonbeom has no idea what he’s doing, but it’s too late to retreat, and giving up isn’t part of his dictionary. He tries drawing different figures with his tongue, flipping it, or sucking a bit, and soon he hears a high-pitched whimper from Soyong. She’s far more relaxed now, moving her hips a bit, so he has to tighten his grip on her to continue his ministrations. He feels her hand on his head, pushing him down closer to her and he eagerly doubles his efforts.
“Your Majesty!” she screams, and then another moan escapes her mouth. Wonbeom is grateful it’s rainy today or the people up the hill on the villa would probably hear them. He is happy to have this opportunity to give in to their pleasure without anyone listening.
He pushes two fingers inside, moving them fast while he caresses her core in the way he just found out makes her react the most. She suddenly tenses, and moments later her muscles flutter against his fingers as she comes with a half-breathless moan. Satisfied with the results, he kisses her inner thighs before moving back up to her with light kisses along his way.
He smiles proudly at seeing her in such a daze, her chest heaving and her eyes unfocused. It definitely was worth trying; he’ll never mock those novels again.
“My Queen, are you having trouble breathing?” he teases her in the same manner she did before.
She concentrates her gaze on him, taking his head with both hands and forcing him to lean down for a kiss. Her hands then find their way to his pants, untying them and eagerly sliding them down. He pulls away to get rid of them completely and tosses them aside with his foot. He comes back hovering over her again, happy that his long wait is finally over and she is indeed with him.
Wonbeom admires her for a moment: her cheeks are rosy and her swollen, full lips move into that bright, charming smile of hers. She reaches up to him for a lazy, loving kiss, and while he’s completely consumed by her embrace, she takes advantage of the opportunity to tighten her grip on his hips and roll him onto his back. His muffled grunt is silenced by her lips as she does not break the kiss even for a moment.
“Now, Your Majesty, what should I do with you?” She bites her lower lip as she peers down over him with a playful look in her eyes. All he wants to do is pound into her senselessly, but she is now in charge, and it is equally arousing. He would let her do anything at this point, as long as she gets to it quickly.
Soyong bends down for another kiss and reaches her hand down between them. He moans into her mouth when she gives his length a few slow strokes and flicks her finger on the tip of his cock.
“You are enjoying torturing me, my Queen,” he growls. “And this is after what I did for you earlier,” he pouts, earning a cheerful laugh from her.
But she becomes serious when she sits up astride him. Without breaking eye contact she lifts her hips and leads his length inside her. They both let out a long moan as she slowly continues down, his hands caressing her thighs and waist.
Soyong moves slowly but steadily, placing her palms on his chest for more leverage. But Wonbeom feels an urge for more, and he tightens his grip, leading her into more brutal movements. Soyong once again doesn’t seem to approve of him taking the lead from her, and she takes both of his hands in hers, crossing their fingers. She resets the pace back to her liking; it is apparent she is in charge here and she will use him for her own pleasure in any way she fancies.
“Your Majesty!” she cries out, throwing her head back in pleasure.
He sits abruptly, catching her in a hug. Their bodies press together tightly and she can’t move as she did before.
“Your Majesty, please, I need to…” she whimpers, trying to loosen his grip a bit to continue moving.
“No, it is I who must plead,” Wonbeom whispers, kissing her collarbone. “Please, Soyong-ah…” He punctuates each word with a kiss to her shoulder and her neck. He trails his lips along her jawline until he reaches her ear and murmurs, “Use my given name…”
She turns her head to face him, her eyebrows furrowing. There is a sad gleam to her eyes, and for a moment he thinks that he has ruined everything. But Soyong’s hands cup his face and he sees so much devotion and understanding.
“Wonbeom,” she whispers, and he just about melts under her touch. “I’ll do everything for you, my Wonbeom…” She brushes her soft lips against his. “My Wonbeom-ah, I am sorry…” She kisses his cheek, and murmurs, “My sweet Wonbeom-ah.” Her whisper transforms into a moan as she slowly starts moving again.
Her hands find leverage on his shoulders, and her hips bounce against his own with more force. She continues calling out his name and Wonbeom thinks he has never heard anything more wonderful than his own name. With one hand he guides her hips into a pace they both like, and with the other he unties her braid, taking her red hair ribbon into his hand. She loosens her hair free with her own hands, her locks falling onto her shoulders, making her look like a beautiful creature from another world. Sometimes she truly reminds him of an ethereal fairy somehow trapped in the mortal world.
Wonbeom lies back on the bedding, bucking his hips up to meet hers. Now she allows him to guide her into a more brutal pace, his grip on her thighs getting stronger. And all he can think of is new ways his name can fall from her lips.
He draws more and more half-breathed moans from her with long, harsh thrusts. Soyong’s head falls back, crying his name one last time as she reaches her peak. Wonbeom continues powerfully thrusting through her orgasm until he reaches his own, with her name breathlessly falling from his lips.
Soyong falls onto his chest, both of them breathing heavily. He doesn’t want to move as he doesn’t want this moment to end. He feels her start kissing his shoulder and moving to continue light kisses on his chest, neck, and chin until she finally reaches his lips. The kiss is slow and lazy, but he loves it. He loves everything they do together.
“I missed that,” he says, looking into her eyes. “I missed us.”
She smiles at him and they roll onto their sides, facing each other. She shivers a bit and Wonbeom finds the blanket to cover them both and pulls her closer to him. They lie like that in silence, looking into each other’s eyes lovingly. He feels so comfortable just lying like this without saying a word. It feels right; this is where he belongs, right by her side, forever.
Soyong traces his scar on his left shoulder with her fingertips, the one that formed after he was shot. The bulletproof vest saved him from a worse injury, but the scar still remains. Mirroring her, he reaches out to touch her own scar from a sword on her right shoulder, suddenly realizing how much their bodies share in common. His hand moves to her lower back and he grazes her scar from her gunshot wound.
“There is so much history on our bodies and we are not even that old yet,” she says quietly. “And these ones from Surit-nal…” She traces her hands lower on his torso. He had indeed suffered a great deal of cuts from the explosion, the evidence of which is still clearly etched on his skin.
“These scars don’t frighten me,” he whispers. “The scars on the heart and soul are what make me scared…”
She simply nods, understanding him perfectly.
“Then let’s heal each other’s scars,” she whispers. “And don’t let me leave you more of them. I am sorry…”
“And I’m sorry for those I left you…” he says sadly, remembering how cruel he was to her in the past. “But the ones from you are the easiest to heal, Soyong-ah. I think I don’t have them anymore,” he teases, brushing his nose against hers to change the mood.
“By the way, why don’t you like it so much when I’m calling you by your title?” she pouts. “I like addressing you as Your Majesty…”
“I don’t care what you call me as long as I can make you do it loudly,” he laughs cheerfully, making her blush.
“Loud? Your Majesty, in moments like these you are the loudest,” she shyly jokes back. “But I’m serious…”
“Ever since I was crowned as the King, people stopped using my name. And soon only my late parents used it in my nightmares.” He finds it so easy to open up to her like this. He never speaks about it with his brother or best friend even though everyone knows about his troubled sleep in the past. “I just want more pleasant memories with my name.”
“That is what I thought…” Soyong smiles, “Wonbeom-ah, I promise to use your name as much as possible.”
“Are you sure you are my wife? I am receiving so much affection in just one night,” he teases and earns a pinch on his shoulder.
“Speaking of which…” Wonbeom tugs her even closer to him for a kiss, “The night isn’t over yet,” he whispers, raising his eyebrows playfully.
Soyong’s eyes grow dark with desire and she pushes her thigh against his, trying to make him roll over onto his back again. But Wonbeom refuses this time, placing his hand on her thigh and rolling her onto her back.
“My turn…” he whispers, attacking her with kisses on her neck and collarbone. She laughs, pulling his head closer to her and spreading her legs for him to lie more comfortably.
They hardly get any rest the night before their big mission. In the morning Wonbeom still feels tired, but it’s a pleasant bliss he would not trade for anything. He yawns contentedly, hugging Soyong tightly, but frowns when he realizes she’s too thin… and somewhat lumpy. He opens his eyes and sees a pillow in his arms with no trace of Soyong in the room at all. He sighs, disappointed there would not be a repeat of their night’s activities this morning.
Don’t freak out, she comes back, I promise.
“as long as I still have you it doesn’t matter” – with CJ’s confession I refer to KJH’s answer about the soul dilemma in his labang. As I understand, BH’s soul or any other, it doesn’t matter for CJ because it’s all about her. Without her soul inside while he still catches a glimpse of her, and recognizes her (I mean, he figured out she’s the girl from 8 years ago despite her possession situation) it’s all fine and ok for him. The next chapter will have more talks about feelings.
And of course, BH is important for the story. I’m not taking credit from him and his effort into the main plot. They were lucky they got BH 😉
Freyja_Lawliet in Chapter 4 wrote: “so sad. please don’t make SY amnesia after all that suffering.”
It was a memory loss fic before that comment but I changed my mind agreeing it’s too simple and soapy. The Amnesia plot also had a conspiracy plot, I just changed SY from being curious and thinking she must help the King without knowing him to SY being the calculating smart woman she is in this fic.
So thank you Freyja_Lawliet for your comment <3 Also, in the old version, CJ would go that far only by chapter 26 O_O
CJ, say thank you to dear reader for the hot night happening sooner XD
- 1Jangot – the clothes piece to cover the head. On the show, SY used one when she and the King had a day out in Hanyang. And on the episode where she came to confront him about plotting an assassination attempt on her dad, she used that as a robe instead of covering her head.
- 2Hanok – a house.
- 3Hanbok – a general word for clothes.
- 4Chima – a skirt.
- 5Jeogori – is an upper garment. Also could be named dangui.
- 6Binyeo is a thick pin used to get married women’s hair in a hairdo.
Freyja_Lawliet on Chapter 19Mon 17 Jan 2022 06:11AM EST
now CJSY’s role is turned around and I love how SY feels guilty and misses her husband when the distance SY wants is fulfilled. maybe a little effort is needed to erase her husband’s anger and hurt. curious how their relationship can improve and together face their enemies.
thanks for update.
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OrlaDark on Chapter 19Mon 17 Jan 2022 10:06AM EST
True, SY is finally feeling what it’s like when it’s not her who initiates distancing XD
She will try her best to make amends and express her point clearly. The next 2 chapters will be about it.
Thank you for reading and I hope you will like the next chapter! <3
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Ukhoehong on Chapter 19Mon 17 Jan 2022 08:02AM EST
Well, SY must redeem herself now and goes to get CJ back. CJ will probably fall into SY's arm immediately because that is all he wanted. I can't wait to read the next chapter when SY apologizes and the couple gets to clear all the misunderstandings. Hopefully, they don't mess up everything again, because you know, our couple is very complicated 🙂
OrlaDark on Chapter 19Mon 17 Jan 2022 10:16AM EST
Now I imagine CJ really falling into her arms rom-com style XD
Thank you for reading and supporting this story! <3 I hope you will like the next chapter 😉
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Poohkiddo on Chapter 19Tue 18 Jan 2022 10:18PM EST
Hi Author-nim, the chapter is soooo sooo good!!!!! Time for SY to have a taste of what she thinks she wanted! HAHA so that CJ can finally have some sweetness in his life again and hopefully the sweetness just continues and become more intense 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 really appreciate the update 💜💜💜💜💜
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OrlaDark on Chapter 19Wed 19 Jan 2022 01:26PM EST
How the tables turned, right? Now she has to chase him, CJ will be very happy if she suddenly becomes clingy XD
Thank you for reading, I hope you will like the next chapter! <3
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Poohkiddo on Chapter 19Thu 20 Jan 2022 08:58AM EST
Yes and CJ can take this opportunity to get what he wants from her 😏🤫😉😜🤣
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OrlaDark on Chapter 19Thu 20 Jan 2022 01:48PM EST
She must take responsibility for all the suffering she caused XD
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Joan on Chapter 19Wed 19 Jan 2022 12:17AM EST
My poor CJ...
give happiness to CJ, author nim
stop your stubbornness SY
He loves you as you are.
give your love to him, at least before you get into action on this mission.
Thank you for this interesting chapter, I'm always waiting for your updates
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OrlaDark on Chapter 19Wed 19 Jan 2022 01:46PM EST
CJ definitely deserves some love after everything and it's all in SY's hands. I hope you will like where the story heading <3
Thank you for reading and commenting! <3