Like the First Snow

“A bit more…” Soyong asks Hong Yeon to put more shadow on her eyelids. She needs to look regal and powerful, and makeup is the best armor in a woman’s arsenal. Soyong has changed into a pastel blue chima¹Chima – a skirt. and a dangui²Dangui is an upper garment with a white collar tied together by ribbons. The other name for this garment is jeogori. in a saturated purple color. And the dark red rouge on her lips finishes the impeccable look.

She observes herself in the mirror, thinking that she looks like an ice queen, as if it is not the eve of spring, but a cold winter. And Soyong is the one who brings this snowstorm.

“How do I look?” Soyong asks her friend.

“Are you sure you are going to ask him to keep a distance?” Hong Yeon replies in disbelief. “It seems like Your Highness craves the opposite.”

Soyong gives her friend an offended look. Of course she will ask the King to keep their paths separate as much as possible. How is it that this huge palace is suddenly too small for the two of them? She needs this makeup to make an emphatic point, not to seduce the King.

Soyong lets out a sigh; she knows keeping a distance is her only chance to finally move on. It’s getting harder to follow her plan to protect her heart from any possible heartbreak. Every single time she sees Cheoljong her heart beats faster and her face gets heated. Months have passed since their fight after she told him about the spirit, and even after all this time she still can’t think about anyone else but him. When she reads her novels, she imagines herself and Cheoljong as the main heroes, the ones that fight all obstacles and live happily ever after.

And then there’s the cravings. Oh, that stupid desire that she can’t ignore. In the early stages of her pregnancy it was almost unbearable. She caught herself thinking of rushing into Huijeongjeon Hall³Huijeongjeon Hall – King’s residence. and begging or pouncing on him. Just remembering her inappropriate thoughts back then throws her into a fever all over again.

The servants at Seonjeongjeon Hall⁴Seonjeongjeon Hall – King’s study. are surprised by her appearance, raising their eyebrows and whispering behind her back once she passes them. She feels even more confident since she received the exact reaction she had been hoping for.

In a firm voice, she requests the eunuch to announce her arrival.

Soyong gracefully enters the room where the King, his brother, and his best friend sit at the long table with many scrolls spread in front of them. They were apparently in the middle of a discussion, but now they are all silent, looking at her with surprise, mouths all hanging open.

“I need to go…” Director Hong jumps to his feet first and the prince follows him, but Cheoljong catches his elbow.

“Your Majesty, we should continue later,” the prince says, gently freeing his hand and making a beeline for the exit.

“If he will be able to…” Hong whispers to him with a chuckle before the two of them disappear behind the sliding doors.

An awkward pause fills the room. Soyong tries very hard not to break her cold mask, clutching the sides of her skirt hard enough to turn her knuckles white. It is a habit she has developed to use anytime she needs to hide her anxiety yet keep her perfect posture.

But being alone with the King is a harder task than she had expected. They are usually surrounded by servants or court officials as Soyong avoids any intimate moments with him at all costs. But this is a private matter, so they must discuss their marriage alone.

Soyong calms herself mentally; she cannot waver now.

“Queen,” Cheoljong finally greets her, rising to his feet and walking to the center of the room. He looks casual, with a smile on his face. “What an unexpected but pleasant surprise, my Queen. I didn’t think I would see you twice today!”

“Is that so?” Soyong raises a brow. “Your Majesty didn’t plan to set up a purely accidental meeting?”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand what you are talking about.” Cheoljong chuckles.

He tries to play a fool like old times. But Soyong didn’t fall for it back then, and she won’t be fooled now either. She steps closer, her protruding belly almost bumping into him, making him retreat by half a step.

“Your Majesty knows exactly what I mean,” she hisses, looking straight into his eyes. “These accidents have to stop. Apart from the occasions where both of us must attend, we shouldn’t see each other.”

“I never agreed to that, Queen,” Cheoljong argues. He straightens his posture and crosses his hands behind his back. His nostrils flare, signaling his own anger. “I told you our story is far from being done.”

“Your stubbornness will only make both of us suffer, Your Majesty. You have to stop torturing me.” Soyong’s chest rises and falls quickly from the storm of emotions. “I already told you how sorry I am for what you lost, but you must let me breathe freely.” Her voice breaks at the last word, in a way she didn’t want him to hear.

“I will stop when I find the answer, Queen.” He lowers his gaze for a second before continuing: “I must be sure, and until then you will have to accept our accidental meetings. And it would be nice if we shared a conversation from time to time as well.”

“That is not going to happen, Your Majesty,” Soyong confidently declares. “You want to spy on me? Fine. You want to orchestrate these ridiculous meetings? Fine, that is your choice. But I won’t reward that game of yours by giving you any attention.”

Having said everything she wanted, Soyong turns around, hearing his irritated scoff behind her. She ignores him and leaves. Since he’s so determined she has no other choice but to accept his persistent games. However, she will show her annoyance every single time, and maybe then he will grow tired eventually.

“We will see who wins,” she mumbles to herself as she walks outside of Seonjeongjeon Hall.

• 1
  Chima – a skirt.
• 2
  Dangui is an upper garment with a white collar tied together by ribbons. The other name for this garment is jeogori.
• 3
  Huijeongjeon Hall – King’s residence.
• 4
  Seonjeongjeon Hall – King’s study.