Like the First Snow

“He did it again. Can you believe it?” Soyong furiously paces back and forth by the lake, just in front of the stone with Bong Hwan’s message carved in.

All of her servants keep a healthy distance as they wait on the bridge behind the pavilion. If she hadn’t just shouted, no one would hear her here and she could have some privacy, but Soyong is so angry that she can’t restrain herself.

She is in the final days of her pregnancy: the royal physician says she will deliver the royal baby soon and everyone is fussing about it more than usual. The pressure she feels makes her even more irritated and she finds herself needing to let her steam out — especially when her stubborn husband doesn’t follow her request for distancing.

And it has led her to the lake for another one-way conversation with the lake spirit.

The spirit had once speculated she lived there as a little mermaid, or worse, that she had slipped away to the future through the lake to use his precious body to flirt with men in nightclubs. If only that was true, maybe Soyong would not feel so confused right now.

After the mysterious spirit left her body, Soyong’s mind felt emptier. They used to think together, support each other, or even oppose each other – not with words, but with feelings. They were conflicted at times, but they were together. And now she is left alone with herself in her mind. It feels good in some ways, and yet still odd.

It became easier to think about her experience when she separated Bong Hwan from herself and spoke to him as a spirit in the lake. By speaking with him like this, Soyong feels like she is clearing her mind. And who else would so perfectly understand her distress with Cheoljong other than the person who was irritated by the King the most?

“I asked… I pleaded for him to leave me alone…” Soyong continues her rant. “But that stubborn…” She stops for a moment to consider if she can swear when referring to the King, but her rage is stronger than her desire to follow basic decency, and she lets the insult leave her mouth: “That donkey!”

Even at a distance, Soyong hears the entire crowd of servants gasp.

Immediately Soyong feels guilty. She is not being fair to the poor animal. Donkeys are cute in some ways with their small height and big pointy ears. It’s not even a good comparison either as Cheoljong is tall, and while his ears protrude a bit, they aren’t that big, and are even quite handsome.

Finishing her rant, Soyong hoists her skirts and heads to Daejojeon Hall¹Daejojeon Hall – Queen of Joseon residence after the wedding.. Now is no time to feel so stressed, and if Cheoljong doesn’t understand that yet, she will remind him.

Soyong had never seen him in the cherry blossom gardens before, but this very morning they “accidentally” bumped into each other there. And in the previous week, she visited the library thinking that the King would have calligraphy practice in his favorite pavilion, but instead she found him in the library reading books. Only out of pure stubbornness did she stay in the library to catch up on her favorite novel. But she couldn’t focus, frequently stealing glances at her husband

across the long table. They didn’t say a word to each other apart from greetings. The entire situation was ridiculous, and she knows very well he didn’t read anything that day as she can always see through his pretenses.

This has to stop, she thinks determinedly.

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  Daejojeon Hall – Queen of Joseon residence after the wedding.